Newest Chip on the Block

Do you remember walking down that huge aisle of junk food looking for a good bag of potato chips to bring to the party or picnic? What do you pick out? Will they be oily and bland…your average unexciting potato chip? Wouldn't you rather be remembered as the guy or gal who brought those AMAZING potato chips and was the life of the party? Next time everyone will wait for you to show up before beginning the festivities. It might not go that far, but you will get a few positive comments on your chip picking ability. 

I have been trying new chips lately, and some were fairly good, but one was just outstanding. It is in a whole class of its own. 

Next time you go to the store to buy chips, do yourself and your friends a favor by picking up a bag of the incredibly tasty Death Valley Chipotle chips by Kettle.

These chips promise to bring big taste to your tongue's taste buds and a wallop of deep spicy flavors. A little heat, a little pepper smokiness, all good. These are the only chip you should ever eat. Wait, first you might need to eat other crappy chips to really appreciate how good these ones are. So, buy a bag of plain crappy, the usual brands, and then a bag of these unearthly pleasurable chips. 

I have forever wrecked your world of chips. There is no going back now. Enjoy!

The Wonderful Darkness of Absinthe

The alluring tales of absinthe stick in the minds of most people when the liquid of the green fairy is mentioned. Vincent van Gogh cut off his ear because of it? Lunatics went on killing rampages because of it? Hemmingway mixed it with other drinks? Oscar Wilde and French artists drank it religiously to open their minds to the unknown? 

Most of this is just folklore. Absinthe is a safe drink, and will not make you hallucinate. That was propaganda created by the wine and brandy industry in France to ban the popular drink and get the profits back from their lost market share. Originally, absinthe was created by a doctor in Switzerland to be a digestion tonic for his patients. It became popular in France when troops returning with a habit of drinking it in the Algerian War returned and demanded it at the local bars. There it is. Interesting isn't it? 

The only thing dangerous about Absinthe is it's high alcohol content. It was never intended to be consumed full-strength. It must be properly dilluted (depending on your flavor preference) 3-5 parts water to 1 part absinthe. Otherwise, be prepared to grow hair on your chest and for you tongue to commit suicide.

So if you can get a good bottle of it, what do you get? In the USA there are only a few brands as of yet. But, in Europe, there are dozens of companies that make it. After reviewing all the reviews and importing a few bottles for myself, I now have a bomb proof recommendation for you.

Let the green fairy fly and drop a bottle of Jade Edouard 72 on your noggin. Click the link to buy from this store. I bought from them and they are very quick to get that prized bottle to you door for your absinthe fix. I can vouch for his services. If you are so inclined to rack up your bill and order a few others, stick within the Jade family, trust me. Go for the "Nouvelle-Orléans" and the "Jade Verte Swiss 65" bottles. This will complete your collection and add a dynamism to your absinthes.

Edouard 72 is a strong absinthe of 72 percent alcohol. It is best diluted in a 1:4 ratio with water. The taste is very strong, high quality, does not disappear even if diluted more. The fennel and anise flavors are very soothing and engulf your mouth in a frenzy of licorice like power.

You can order absinthe glasses, slotted spoons, fountains (not that you need this), sugar cubes and brouilles (these work well in place of the fountain) at Absinthe Devil.

One glass of this and you are set for the night. It can easily knock you on your ass. It is meant for sipping, not frat-house gulping. Go buy a wide-mouth forty for that. This is a highly refined drink that has earned it's place in history and in my personal drink collection. It's that good.

Packing a Spicy Pakora

What the heck is a pakora? Pack of what? It's a sinful little fried delight from India. Usually, its a battered and deep fried vegetable. If you are lucky, it's a mixture of potato, vegetables and spices that has been deep fried. This type of pakora is incredible. When paired with the two sauces it comes with, one a fresh minty sauce and the other a tamarind sauce, it it utterly addicting. Go check out your local Indian restaurant to see if they have them on the menu or just ask them if they make them. They should be crispy, not oily or soggy. I am very picky on the ones I eat. I only eat the ones that are made of that yummy vegetable potato glop. Pure Indian sin.

So, I have eaten at many, many Indian restaurants in the Silicon Valley area of California. This is the megatropolis of Indians. Technology brings their skills and their wonderful food to our country. The best Indian restaurants are in Silicon Valley. From San Jose to Palo Alto, they are so abundant. They exist not by the dozens, but by the hundreds. 

In between San Jose and Palo Alto is Sunnyvale. The original birthplace of Silicon Valley. This boring little town has a specific Indian restaurant that makes the best pakoras of all. 

Enter…Taj India. The type of food is Punjab style. My favorite. They also make the best mushroom mattar and Chana Masala in the area. It might be a hole-in-the-wall, but the food is truly authentic. This is not your Indian food made to please old white people who love to eat bland, flavorless food. No Midwest food here. 

Pack those pakoras away by the dozen and enjoy!

Flourless Chocolate Souffle Sin

Pure lust. Dark chocolate has that effect on many of us. It's a drug. You want your fix and can't wait to have it in your hands and in your mouth. To put that sinful chocolate in cake form is not an easy task. Usually, cake is a fluffy, sweet and gooey mess meant for the masses. For you, the gourmand, the only choice is a chocolate flourless souffle cake. 

Unless your making Wolfgang Puck's recipe, there are not too many places that make a good chocolate souffle. The best chocolate fourless cake that is widely available is the one that Whole Foods makes. They have a small 5 inch personal cake, and a large 12 inch cake. I always want to buy the large one and eat it at one sitting. Take care to look at the ingredients. If it has cream in it, it is the new recipe. The new recipe is terrible. The old one, still available, has no cream, but pure chocolate. They use the cream to cheap-out on the cost of using pure chocolate in the middle. This makes the center taste milky and light, not rich and decadent.

So go for the pure chocolate one. Be picky and ask for it at the desert counter. Let them know you want it. 

Let your freaky chocolate self get wild and partake in this delightful hedonism.

A Sumptuous Soy Pizza

That's right my friends, you heard it right…SOY PIZZA. So are you lactose intolerant, ovo-vegetarian, or did your doctor just tell you to to lay off the dairy and meat or your heart will go and strike? Then, I have a nice recommendation for you. Soy pizza. It might sound weird and maybe it is. But I have tasted several, and they are good. What is this world coming to? Attack of soy? Soy in my energy bars, soy in my  drinks, soy in my dinner, clothes made out of soy, and now, soy in one of the most sacred of all american food, pizza? Damn. I guess if you can't beat them, join them or just soy them.

Patty's Pizza is not just good, it's fantastic. This is my favorite pizza in Santa Monica, CA. I have eaten several of their pizzas. Actually, I have to be honest and say I have eaten more than several pizzas, probably several dozen is closer to the truth. I have tried many of their flavors with cheese and with soy cheese. Both are exceptional. The best of the bunch, believe it or not, is the Nature's Feast pizza with soy cheese. Second is the BBQ chicken pizza. Mighty fine! Lower your LDL, increase your HDL, feel good about not adding to global warming for one day (the expelled methane gas from cattle & other animal farms create more global warming than cars. Yes, this is a fact. I am a meat eater too, mostly.) and dig into that pizza. tell them to bake it a little longer in the over so you can get a nice crispy golden crust. Don't get the take and bake, unless you have a brick oven at home. 

Well, too lazy to go there, or don't live anywhere close to the Los Angeles area? First check your favorite pizza joint. You never know, they might have it, although depending on how redneck of a place you are in, they might be ashamed to say so. Soy unmanly? Nah. just grab your balls, flex your biceps, and with a confident deep voice ask for the KICK-ASS SOY PIZZA. Problem solved.

Second, find a grocery store that sells Amy's Soy Pizza. I have made these at home, They are very good when done correctly. But cook that pizza first until the bottom of the dough & the crust is golden, then throw your gourmet ingredients on top. Cook it again, until the ingredients wither and the crust is a light brown. Perfect. Eat and enjoy.

There. Do you feel better about the scary soy pizza now? It's not really an invasion, but a welcoming of a friendly alien of an ingredient into your favorite casual food.